Dear Beloved Past Roommates....

Mary Bricker and S. Bloom......
HOLY COW!! That was like the longest message in the world. I'm still listening to it actually. In case you couldn't guess, I sleep now that I'm home. Sara stop beating up Mary and stop telling lies. Okay so the message just ended with a would you rather but I didn't get to hear the rather. Sorry Mary. Oh and Mary, I would not appreciate a bag of flaming poo (especially if it is Sara's). Also I'm not sure if I should be offended that the only thing you miss about me is my strainer... I'm proud of you for decorating and you should send me pictures. I'm also proud of you for returning that monkey back to it's natural habitat. Now you just have to get Sara's shoes there.... I am willing to bet that I will not owe you ice cream by the end of the summer. Just FYI. Although Mary you should definitely get me a steak dinner (even though Sara was obviously lying). Sara, be strong. I heard that you are still in love. You can make it through this.....I expect steak from you too. Mary, the best way to get back at Sara is to tickle, punch, or scare her. Also steal her stuff or post lies about her on the internet. Well, I am starting a new job today. Hooray! So I best be off. Mary I hope you have an early class and that you check this right away. It sounds like you guys are having a lot of fun and I'm jealous that I can't be there enjoying all of this. Oh Mary, another good thing to do to Sara is to come up behind her and grab her sides. That's the easiest way to get her to squeal. You might want to start putting stuff in front of your door at night.... Who knows what she will do. Have a good day and don't drive your 1 new roommate insane.

Your awesome ex-roommate,
Danielle

P.S. Sara, knock right back at the people next door and you better still be singing Disney songs even though I am not there. Mary, if you didn't see the new episode of the office last week, you should totally watch it online on nbc.com. Sara would enjoy it too if she was cool enough to appreciate the awesomeness of the office. The End.