Benefit of the Doubt

We as people have a tendency to grumble about getting older. Perhaps it comes down to a fear of getting old, of losing our usefulness or beauty or intelligence. I can understand this desire to stay young forever, but even so, I'm okay with it. The older I get, the more I learn about life, myself, others, and I suppose whatever subjects I'm taking in school.

One thing I've learned and just reminded myself of is the concept of giving people the benefit of the doubt. I suppose that phrase has become cliche, and yet there's still some truth to it. I've seen in myself as well as in other people this bad habit of assuming the worst of people or I suppose it would be more correct to say we assume something about them that turns into a put down for ourselves. Am I making sense?

Hmm...perhaps an example will illustrate what I'm trying to get at. In a world overcome by text and instant messages (Aw, yes. I too am guilty of that!), it's easy to misinterpret what someone is trying to say. Or maybe they take a long time to respond or don't respond at all. If you're anything like me, on occasion you might think this reflects negatively upon yourself. It's silly I know, and I'm proud to say I've overcome this bad habit for the most part, but I can't deny that it has happened. I'd think myself in those situations that they had some reason for not wanting to talk to me. Again...silly.

While I was having such a conversation months ago now, I decided that instead of assuming the worst, I was going to give them the benefit of the doubt. As soon as I stopped worrying myself over why they weren't talking to me or making up reasons or ideas or emotions that they may be having, I felt a lot better about myself for one thing, and it made talking a lot more enjoyable and less stressful.

I don't know if that's an adequate example, but hopefully you see what I'm getting at.

This sorts of situations don't have to occur over the internet or through texting. We interact with many different people in multile situations everyday. And I think that it's easy sometimes to assume the worst of people, but that won't be beneficial generally. It harbors negative feelings, I think. When we assume good things about people, look for the good in people instead of the bad, we can be happier. Plus it's always interesting to see how our views of people can change, how they appear to us once we've changed our mindset.

So I guess here's my advice for the day (I do like to think I have some sound advice periodically... Hopefullly that's true...), give someone the benefit of the doubt. We don't always know what's on a person's mind or how they are feeling or even why they are acting they way they are at a given moment. We all have struggles in our lives, and sometimes it's harder to deal with those struggles than other times.

I feel like I ramble a lot. Thanks for reading. May you all have a wonderful weekend!